Not productive

Dunno why, but I'm just NOT as productive as I write this. I'm just not. I don't know what to blog about or anything... I just don't know.

I don't know what to put onto DeviantART or what photos to add to my website. I've just survived my first week as a sophomore. Went to Pattaya again. More photographs. No Powered Paragliders flying. Those PPG folks must have gone to watch soccer. I had no interest. Soccer was boring for me.

I just hope I can pick up my moods soon. Gonna go to sleep to see if I can reboot myself...

The little white oyster bar

At our hotel, on the beach.....



There's a small white house(oyster bar), a small, cozy white house

A small white house on the beach, a lonely one, a lonely white house

With no other near, not one. Not one building quite near

We would go there, every evening, after the sunsets

For a lovely, quiet dinner, the nightly beach air





A sadness to depart it, that is

to go home, the cramped home in Bangkok

Leaving the lonely white house behind

Never getting to take beauty home

Or waiting another whole week

To see her again

Then school comes along

And life's all gone....


(wrote by me, with no ryme)

Eye of the beholder

Took this photo one stormy morning while on vacation

In a Time Magazine photography contest, the winner, a women, used an instant camera that is available from a superette/minimart....

What I want to talk about now is my heart and skill on photography. Some call it a hobby, some call it a career, while for some, it's an obsession.

As for my case, it's obsession. I love the sound of snapping of the mechanical shutter, the rolling feel of the lens zoom, and especially, wondering if the picture came out beautiful....

Then, import them into my iMac, and take a look, photoshop to increase contrast and adjust a lot of nitty-gitty thingies...

Photography was a part of my life since I was a kid. I used to be curious of my Dad's old Minolta SLR. It was a wonder to my eye. I loved the sound of the clicking. Used 36 shots of film.

Then I got my first camera, an M&M cheap-*** camera. 36 shots film. No flash. And bright green in color. Bright Green in color. I remembered it. It was like a toy that worked.

Than, my first digital later on, was a cheap stick with only 20 shots, no zoom. Then a Fuji point and shoot that I lost and later, dad got Fuji s5600 which I started to take it seriously. It looked just like an SLR, but it wasn't.

I got my EOS1000D in Jan 2010. And I had a ball with it, taking my photography to the limit beyond boundaries. I took photographs in the level that you cannot imagine. I expanded my hobby. The question is, should I make it into a cash making hobby?


"You Only Live Once", directly inspired by the Yanni song



I haven't succeeded with trying to use DeviantART to make cash yet. I may try to sell mine for free to hotels and other locations that have shitty paintings on walls. I entered a contest, and one of mine was featured in their annual exclusive photobook, where only 300 of the best, who submitted their's into that contest. That was pretty GOOD, that mine made it. At least, I spread my name and talent and skill...

I seem to have a good eye for photography. I don't know why. Whenever I hold my camera into my hands, I start to notice and be able to detect a scene that would make an awesome photograph. I don't know why? Totally no clue, I just have it. Maybe inspiration. It's unknown. Am I perhaps a photography prodigy or something? There's something that's a mystery here which I can't describe. I read magazines, yes, also SDLR photography magazines also gave me inspiration.

Anyways, I had thoughts about auctioning them for cheap, just to make something and still spread the name.... I am still practicing and will keep snapping!

Too fast, just too fast

As I said in the previous blog, asperger's syndrome infected 19 years of my life. 19 YEARS OF MY "GD" LIFE! It was quite disappointing that I've never been aware of it. I was what I was, and my interest in the subject kicked in towards the end of 12th grade, 2 years ago. And I really started to get kicked in in my college years, when stress and the pressure to mature ate away at me. Even with encouraging friends surrounded, I was depressed 24/7. Seriously, I've NEVER been that depressed my whole life! I felt like as if I was 6-8 years behind everyone. I practice drawing objects, I hated drawing people. In-animate objects. I was good alright in the pencil shading and all that stuff. But never the less, when it came to trying to draw cartoons, I fell apart, I mean, APART. I am good with drawing the machinery. I have a whole drawing pad filled with gliders, and other airplanes. I even designed an open-class ship that could melt the Nimbus with a fingertip!





You may be asking, "Evan, why didn't you choose to study engineering rather than Creative Media?" Answer? Math and physics were not my forte's. In fact, to tell you the truth, I feel like I don't even have "genuine" forte's at all! I seem to be born to keep records and that kind of stuff and being "exact" like an architect or engineer, but my heart tended to love the creative side, music, graphic design, you name it! My brain sides are polar opposites and I'm a puzzle piece that doesn't fit in society, no matter how "normal" or "perfect" I try to be! I was a mess. I set a goal to sketch and I still went to school, crumpled with the pencil and still inconfident. I asked the teachers about it, the only answer? No one's the same.... And I was the slow one...

I was a slow learner. It took me more time to learn a piano piece, and I was frustrated for being unlucky about this. At least I was happy enough to have food on the table, clothes, and the necessary needs of everyday living. I'm scared that by the time I get to "know myself" is when I become very old. I try to rush to see what I can do about life. I needed the money to fly gliders, and MORE to buy one and get training. But if I give up and drop out of university, I would have to get a job at McDonald's or something, which is something I don't want to do. I want to make a lot of money, out of photography or graphic design. I can't drop out and I have to move on, no matter how slow I am, I'll have to live with this handicap. The handicap of being socially inept, the handicap of slow cognitive skills, I have to think in pictures rather than words. I can't memorize glider models as well if no image is involved. I have no clue if I'm going to succeed in life. I'm very pessimistic about many things, as well as suffering from anxiety. I was always stiff. Weight workouts were fine, but stretching won't help kick away the stiffness of my body. Massages were only temporarily. And everything, was just like as it is....

If I do ever get married to have a child one days, it's going to be up to an advanced geneticist to do the work. Select the best of the best DNA and give me a perfect child. A child that can read faster than lightning can strike. A child that can perform 100% with perfection, both socially and academically. A+ 's on every subject. And can make millions of dollars in the teen years.




And that is if I would ever have a child or if I would stay single, or take my own life. It's up for time to tell....

No gliding in Thailand?

I never knew why I suddenly had an obsession of gliders kick in. No answer, just one Youtube video, and it took off like fireworks. The Stemme s10 was on that video. A motorglider, valued at $300,000, aimed at the rich boys. A gem of the gliding world, a pursuit for the perfect flying machine.

Having asperger's syndrome, a form of autism that's known for the lack of social skills and direct interest fixture(only album 1-2 things), and one of mine were gliders. I didn't get why god made me obsessed with gliders, why couldn't he make me obsessed with coffee beans or something. I could be starting a coffee farm or even open a coffee shop franchise or start my own coffee brand. I could be happy at the spot and still make a lot of dough. As for gliding, if I wanted to, I have to travel all the way across the world just to get a ride. And yet, I know that I won't make a single cent in a competition. And Thailand's high taxes, means, that I have to be richer than Warren Buffet just to own a second-hand Schempp-Hirth Discus or LS4!

I never can understand it, gliding is everywhere around the world, even in Japan and the Philippines! But why not Thailand?! Why can't we have it here?! WHY?!



Whatever the case, the only option is to go abroad, perhaps, to New Zeland. And by one in Thailand if I get the money to afford one, probably a self-launcher like the DG808 or a Ventus. But at the moment targeting the Czech-made TST-10 Atlas. It's cheap as a Honda Civic, self launching(Rotax-powered, mind you, not just some junky 2-stroke) and yet easy to fly and maintain, also paying as down payment. Still need the training though..:)